Revisiting the Conversation
I’d like to touch on a subject I’ve talked about before, at least a bit, is that of the Conversation. Every experience we have as people informs us and alters our later behaviors. As writers, artist more generally, but as writers, we seek out these experiences, these influences, and we seek to be those influences for others. I like to think of it as a web of piano-wire, the entirety vibrating in some cacophonous glee. As wires are tightened or loosened the rest of the web has to adjust to accommodate. And the whole song has changed.
For me, one of the highest honors that can be paid is to have influenced someone, to have changed the tenor of their conversation with the world. Paisley paid me that honor this week.
Today has been a, well, a pretty good day. I showed up to class on time and prepared (that’s a shock), met with my instructor after class and received some useful feedback on my poetry. One of the hardest things about being a writer, is finding out who we should be in a conversation with. Frankly, Longfellow would not inspire me much at all. My instructor suggested Wallace Stevens and, even more, John Berryman. They’ll be added to my reading list.
After that, I managed to get done a giant research project that I had thought I could not get done. It’s not great, but done and… solid. Got a paper back, an A, yay, got out of class early. There’s a nice bit of pride in all of that… and yet…
And yet…
At the end of the day, I still drove home to an empty apartment. I’ll still be sleeping in an otherwise empty bed. As nice and intellectually satisfying as The Conversation is, it still falls flat compared to shared experience, compared to intimacy, compared to directly twisting those piano wires and hearing the song….
We’re all special snowflakes, unique. Some are beautiful. Some intricate. I suppose I’m just looking for a snowflake in my life whose structure appeals. But how?
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in this case, my dear,, i assure you ,, the pleasure was all mine… thank you so much for inspiring me…..